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“The toughest thing about the power of trust is that it’s very difficult to build and very easy to destroy. The essence of trust building is to emphasize the similarities between you and the customer.”
– Thomas J. Watson
There a lot of different meanings and interpretations of the word “Trust”. It is an abstract thing which I found pretty hard to fathom and not even a 50-page book about trust can provide us a concrete solution on how to deal with it. Others say that trust is the foundation of a good relationship between relatives, friends, lovers and organizations. In my honest opinion, I believe that you can never even have a uniform advice with regards to giving and accepting trust from someone since this topic varies depending upon the types of people that you encounter everyday. Even the most prominent psychologist can’t unlock the mystery of the term “trust” since “deception” is being associated with it as often as you could ever think of.
To show you how painstakingly complex trust is, take note that a person even have to earn an animal’s , (pets in particular) trust first before you can finally get to tame them. But we won’t be going as far as learning how to tame a dragon in this article. We will be focusing on giving some hints on what type of people you should not put your trust into.
1. People Who are Afraid of Commitments
– These are the types of people who doesn’t care if other people think that they are undependable. They don’t like to shoulder additional responsibilities so the moment they are about to commit to something, they finds different kinds of excuses ranging from the lamest ones up to the wittiest pleas for them to avoid any further burdens in their personal lives.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Ms. Ira Fonzy Bowles (Irresponsible)
2. People Who are Very Full of Themselves
– These types of people makes other people around them burst out in deep exasperation because of their “uncalled for” cockiness. Their relentless showmanship makes them extremely undesirable. They always sing their own praises without taking into consideration other people’s accolades. All they wanted is to show how wealthy they’ve are now or how good looking they appear in front of the crowd. The best thing we can do is to cover our ears and pretend we don’t hear their boastful testimonials about themselves.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Mr. Manny Shaw (Show money)
3. People Who are Very Secretive
– How can you trust someone who doesn’t even know how to trust you just enough for them to carelessly share their secrets to you? Who knows, one of his/ her secrets might be about planning how to get rid of people like you who are so shrewdly persistent in earning their trust. LOL.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Mr. Hush Culvert (Husssshhhhh…. I have a secret/ covert)
4. People who are Frantically Eager to Become Your Friend
– “I never thought that you could do this to me. Back off you traitor!”. These are the lines often spoken by people who trusted somebody quite profoundly just to find themselves being betrayed in the end. If you think someone is very anxious or fanatical to be your friend when in reality, you really aren’t sociable or friendly enough to attract these kinds of companions, you better think twice. They might just be after your belongings our prestige. Or worse, they might just be building up a relationship with absolute trust so they can shatter you like brittle piece of glass wine afterwards wherein you are actually the one who let their hands lay into a precious glass like you.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Ms. Congeniality
5. People Who Always Commits to Someone But Suddenly Changes his/ her Mind and Then Cancels Everything That was Planned
– Can you imagine having these kind of friends who committed to attend your most awaited and well-planned birthday party and then abruptly calls you when the event is about to begin apologizing to you because he can’t be there for you due to an emergency appointment or whatever alibi that was. This is really a heart breaking scene if you would ask me. You are in very high hopes that he will be physically present in one of the special days of your life but then he/she chose to disappoint you. This lessens the trust bestowed to that certain person or acquaintance.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Mrs. Hope Falceso (False Hopes)
6. People Who are Just Around You During Prosperity But Disappears During Adversities
– Just like the old saying: “Fake friends are like shadow, they are around when the sun is shining but disappears when darkness comes”. When you are having the best days of your lives, these kind of people glide straight into you like hungry vultures hoping that you would do them any favors. They cheer for you, party with you, and laugh with you when you are still at the top but then vanish like smoke the moment you run out of money, fame and fortune. Truth really hurts.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Mr. John Michael (An-John lang pag-Micheal angan)
7. People Who Talk Behind Your Backs
– They are the ones who are really deceptive. They give you the urge to regard them with a very high rate of suspicion. You can get very agitated which often results to you having sleepless nights and experiencing paranoia because you became too cautious what degrading words or slanderous comments they are going to say to other people every time you are not around. These kinds of people have an astoundingly friendly façade but they reveal a noxious hiss the moment you turn your back on them.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Sir Hugh Pent (A huge serpent/ snake)
8. People Who Never Seemed to be Happy for Your Success in Life
– Here in the Philippines, we refer to this kind of negative trait as “crabmentality”. We step on each other’s heads, climb over other people’s bodies just to get to the top like we are having a death race. People who rarely congratulates you whenever you get high test scores or each time you get promoted in your company are the ones who are most probably hiding some sense of insecurities towards you so you have to be aware. They feel like they are the ones who are more deserving to be on your position now, they wanted to enjoy all the privileges and stature that you have. They even wanted to eclipse all your accomplishments so they will try to do everything just to get past you as soon as they can.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Mr. Crabs!
9. People Who Always Try to Compete with Everyone
– Being soundly competitive and ready for action is a good thing. But when a person gets too high spirited and becomes too fervent to challenge everyone, then he/she might consider seeking a good advice from a very reliable friend or from those who are knowledgeable about this kind of mindset. Have you ever heard of “chain of commands”? You have to know who your superiors are. Knowing your capabilities and unlocking your own potential is indeed a very good characteristic. But you also have to know your limits, learn how to practice a friendly competition. Camaraderie should be the first thing he/she needs to instill in his/ her mind in order to have a healthy and fair competition. Avoid bumping into walls you can’t break. On the other hand, Have mercy and cease from further pulverizing fragile and helpless individuals whom you also consider as your competitors.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Mr. Oliver Competente (Over competent)
10. People Who Looks Down on Other Races
– I don’t intend to make this article a bit racist but I just want to remind everyone that race isn’t a big factor when choosing who to make friends with. Also, having a racist friend might give you the feeling that they are treating you as a lesser individual because you are different from them. This will induce an inferiority complex within you so you just have to avoid encounters from these kind of people as much as possible.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Ms. Connie Reyes (not the actress.. Con means rip off; a certain Race/sounds like Reyes)
Bonus Item: People Who Discriminate One’s Personal and Religious Beliefs
– Okay, this might be too sensitive to discuss so I will just make this thing short. Respect each other’s way of life as well as their religious convictions in order for you to gain their trusts. This fixation might be implausible as of now, but who knows? Absolute trust might be attained by showing respect to a person and proving them that you are without a doubt an exceptionally trustworthy human being.
> Ladies and Gentlemen…, Ms. Faith Singleton ( Singling out someone’s faith )
References:
- Brian Willingham, Who Should You Trust? 11 Types of People to Be Wary Of, http://www.diligentiagroup.com/background-investigations/who-should-you-trust-people-to-be-wary-of/
- 8 Ways to Spot Untrustworthy People, http://lakshmanr.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/8-ways-to-spot-untrustworthy-people/
- Arianna Rebolini & Katie Heaney , 10 Types Of Friends You Shouldn’t Feel Bad Dumping, http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/types-of-friends-you-shouldnt-feel-bad-dumping
