Team DailyPedia
As parents, we intuitively feel that we need to praise our children for any accomplishment. Some would even praise them just for the sole reason of making them feel good about themselves. We believe that it is one way to build their self-esteem, to help guide them to be better people as they grow up, and to express our deep love and appreciation to them. But did you know that a study shows that if we are not careful and overdo the praise, children can become narcissistic?
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How can you tell if a child is narcissistic?
When a child starts to act superior towards others, when they think that they are always on top of others, and when they feel that everyone should be looking up to them deserving all the credit, and yes, praise, then chances are you raised a narcissistic child.
According to Origins of Narcissism in Children, parents over-valuing a child can lead them to develop Narcissistic traits such as a sense of superiority, over-inflated self-confidence, and entitlement. Eddie Brummelman, one of the study’s co-authors and a postdoctoral researcher at the Research Institute of Child Development and Education at the University of Amsterdam said, “parents who overvalue, they think their child is very smart but in reality, the child isn’t smarter than others.”
Children who were brought up to believe that they are better than others, dismissive of others, and only values their self-worth become the narcissistic ones who “tend to be more aggressive and even violent than other people, and are at higher risk for depression, anxiety, and drug addiction“. The same goes with children who feel less valued and appreciated by their parents, they tend to overvalue themselves to fill their need to be appreciated.
- “Children who feel less valued and appreciated by their parents, they tend to overvalue themselves to fill their need to be appreciated.”
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Narcissism vs. Self-esteem
[blockquote author=”Eddie Brummelman”]Narcissism refers to the feeling of being better than others and the feeling of being more entitled than others and creating admiration from others, but self-esteem is more a genuine feeling of being worthy [/blockquote]
Now that we know what makes a child narcissistic, how do we raise children without over-inflating their egos? The answer is simple: Show them warmth and affection, make them feel appreciated and loved. We don’t need to put them on a pedestal, it might give them the impression that they are more special than the rest. Just appreciate them enough to build their self-esteem.
Our parenting contributes a lot to the development of our children. As research indicates, overvaluation can cause narcissistic traits that may not be good for them or for the society. As narcissism is partly based on genetics and the environment, we may have a child who is genetically narcissistic; but we also play an important role to suppress this by guiding them properly. It is our responsibility to our children and to the society to raise them to become good people; they can be very smart, confident, and competitive but should know how to empathize and respect others all the same. We can praise them, give credit to their achievements, but at the same time instill in them the value of humility and gratitude.
[blockquote author=”Brad Bushman (co-author)”]People with high self-esteem think they’re as good as others, whereas narcissists think they’re better than others[/blockquote]
