KM Viray
Someone mentions a post of a mutual friend that may be funny or controversial. You go to that friend’s Facebook page, and lo and behold, you can’t see anything on their timelines because you’ve been unfriended—or worse, blocked.
This has been an updated way on how to sever social ties with someone. In the good ol’ days, “unfriending” someone took time before the friendship would actually end. One would have to take small steps away from the friendship until the estrangement takes effect.
Nowadays, however, with just a click of a button, you can just stop being someone’s friend. As brutal as it may sound, that “Add as Friend” button you see when you go to that person’s Facebook page is the sign that the friendship is over.
Unfortunately, not all unfriending episodes happen with the consent of both parties (like when people break up, for example). People have the tendency to give unfriending much more thought than they give to friending. It’s like a direct hit saying, “I don’t want to hear from you anymore and I don’t want to know more about you.” If you weren’t in on this decision, a Facebook unfriending is very much a rejection and can hurt as much as can any in real life rejection.
So just how do you deal with such instances? If you’re an obsessive-compulsive person, you’ll spend days overthinking and over-analyzing what could have happened and what you could have done for that person to unfriend you. You go over your timeline again and again to see if you posted anything annoying or hurtful towards that person.
Don’t fret any longer, though. These are some things to keep in mind if you’ve been hurt on social media.
1. Don’t obsess over the unfriending.
Most likely, you’re more upset about being unfriended than about losing this online friend. It can make you feel insecure or doubt yourself because you feel there’s something not likeable about you. Take note of this instead: if you’re thinking more about the unfriending rather than the friend, this suggests that the person wasn’t really all that close to you.
2. Expand your real life social network.
Do not make Facebook your social life. There’s more to your social network than your laptop and gadgets. If you solely focus on Facebook, you’ll surely be affected by being unfriended. The truth is, though, if you have real live friends around you and Facebook is merely your medium for sharing, then losing a virtual friend or two won’t matter. Make those real friendships stronger and forget about the ones who won’t even your online friend.
