Reese Barcelon
If there’s a statement students often hear from their parents, it would be, “Lovelife will only be a hindrance to your studies.”
Admit it, there are some instances that prove the correctness of such statement. A few of us probably had experienced what it is like to go crazy thinking about the person we admire or about the fight you had with them. They cannot think straight, nor do their normal routines especially when a student had invested a lot of feelings with his/her partner.
On the other hand, there are also some instances that prove otherwise.
A Facebook user named Chan Mabanta decided to show everyone that not all students are negatively affected by their romantic relationship. His post went viral after he had used his graduation picture as his profile picture and included how everyone criticized and judged them as a couple.
According to him, the most common comments he would hear were, “Ayan, puro ka girlfriend. Aral-aral din.”, “Puro ka nalang Kimshane.”, “Mr. Mabanta, tigil-tigilan mo nga ‘yang pag gigirlfriend mo.”
Even when he was in college and taking up Computer Science, he was often judged and hated just because people think that his girlfriend is preventing him to be productive – which leads him to missing out on a lot of things.
“Suot ko sa aking ID ng 2×2 picture ng girlfriend kong si Kimshane, until isang araw sa kalagitnaan ng defense namin ay nakita ng Panel ang picture nya sa ID ko. Sinimulan nya akong tanung-tanungin ng mga mahihirap na questions ukol sa system namin, sa flow ng algorithm nya at mga “what-if’s” questions hanggang sa di ko na kinaya silang sagutin. Alam nyo sinabi nya sa akin? “Wag kase puro girlfriend.” May mga times na nakikita kami ng aking mga kakilala ko pag naglalakad kami pauwi, umiiling sila. Bawat pagkukulang ko, bawat pagkakamali, girlfriend ko kaagad ang pinupunterya. Simula noon, sa wallet ko na tinago ang picture nya. Hindi dahil sa naapekto ako o natisod sa sinabi nya, hindi. Dahil nakakabastos sila.”
However, Mabanta firmly said that his girlfriend never became a burden to him. As a matter of fact, she was his happy pill and stress reliever whenever he’s feeling down because of his studies. His girlfriend was always there to cheer him up and helps him review whenever there’s an upcoming exams.
“Never siyang naging istorbo o hadlang sa aking pagaaral. Oo aminado ako na kahit 3 days before defense nung 3rd year pa ako, nagde-date parin kami dahil masaya akong kasama siya. Nawawala ang aking stress, anxiety at kaba pag sya ang kasama ko. At hindi lang yon, nirereview rin nya ako at tinutulungan sa studies pati sa financial problems ko (utang yon syempre, binabayaran ko rin sya. Hihi) Napaka-swerte ko na sya ang girlfriend ko. Naiintindihan nya na napakahirap at hindi biro ang pagiging Computer Science student, mas lalo na pag graduating.”
Furthermore, Kimshane is an understanding kind of girlfriend. She never got mad whenever they could make time for each other or when their usual dates are getting more and more seldom. Even when he couldn’t provide a bigger budget whenever they are going out, he didn’t hear any complain from her.
“Never siyang nagtampo kapag di kami nagkakasama, di na kami masyado nagdedate nung kasagsagan ng thesis namin at madalas ay pamasahe lang ang aking dala dahil naubos lahat ng pera ko sa pagpi-print at pagbili ng materyales. Napaka-laki ng ambag nya at hindi siya nagha-hanap ng ano mang kaukulang kapalit. Dahil gusto niya matupad ang pangarap ko at makapagtapos, para matulungan ko na ang aking mga magulang at ipagaral ang aking kapatid.”
Moreover, Mabanta also shared how hard his life had been because of the people’s prying eyes and cruel remarks.
“Ngayon graduate na ako. Sa mga college students na nabu-bully rin dahil sa lovelife, eto masasabi ko sa inyo: Walang saysay lahat ng pinagsa-sabi nila sa atin dahil alam natin na WALA SILANG ALAM. Hinawakan ko ng mahigpit ang aking panata na gagraduate ako. Kahit napakahirap, kahit na unang thesis namin ay dinurog kami na halos 2 weeks kaming tulala. Mga gabing napapahinto ako sa pag-gawa ng thesis dahil di ko siya maayos at maiiyak sa sobrang hirap. Kahit na muntikan na kami hindi makagraduate sa mga naiwan naming subject na “Do or Die” ang sitwasyon namin. Kahit na sinabihan kami ng kapwa classmate namin “Basta ako gragraduate. Di ko lang alam sainyo.” Hindi naging masaya paglalakbay ko. Sinira na nila minsan ang fighting spirit ko. Pero bangon pa rin tayo, para sa ating mga mahal sa buhay.”
To give the students an idea about how to balance their relationships and studies, Mabanta provided an uplifting message that everyone can ponder.
“Ang girlfriend ko ang nagsilbing consultant ko sa lahat ng aking problema. Gawin niyong inspirasyon ang iyong mga mahal sa buhay. Gawin niyo silang rason para gumising ka ng 5am kahit na ang tulog mo ay 3am. Nandyan sila para tulungan ka sa hirap at sa ginhawa, sa magaganda at mapapait na kabanata ng iyong buhay. Wag na wag kayo matitisod sa mga sinasabi ng iba sapagkat alam mo mismo sa inyong sarili na MALI SILA. DI NILA ALAM BUONG KWENTO MO. Kahit na masasakit na salita ang sinasabi nila sainyo, kayanin mo. Patunayan mo mismo sa kanila na mali sila. PAYPAYAN MO SILA NG DIPLOMA MO (Wag hampas, masisira). Biggest revenge mo ay ang tagumpay mo.”
And lastly, he ended his post with the phrase, “GRADUATE NA AKO. HINDI NYO AKO NATIBAG.”
Netizens who had read his post agreed with all the points he highlighted in his status, as there are a lot of instances where negative impressions are given on them just because of their romantic relationship.
Most people only say that being in a relationship while studying is not a good idea because they are seeing a lot of students who are turning into a state where they can no longer focus on their studies because of their partners and the problems they encounter in the relationship.
Why not try to prove everyone wrong by showing them that entering in a relationship can also be inspiring and motivational?
