Denis Santos
- This is a story more than a confession of a boy who admitted his feelings to his gay best friend
- Who would have thought that a straight guy could fall in love with his gay best friend?
Bryce and I are best friends ever since we were born. Our parents, who happened to be best friends as well, decided to live next to each other. They had us in the same year, then later on fixed our ‘bestfiendship’.
We went to the same school from pre-school to high school.
I grew up gay, oh was that a bummer? But that never affected my relationship with him. Quite frankly, it made our friendship even tighter. If I had problems with a guy, I can easily consult him–the same way he can consult me every time he had to call it quits with a girl. We live in a harmonious relationship, but extremely different personalities.
He played basketball, I did volleyball. He was part of the Math and Science Club, I was the Drama Club President. I wear skinny jeans, he prefers baggy ones. The comparison can go on until next year, but this is to show how polar opposites we were. Despite our differences, our friendship remained intact.
Until University applications happened…
We have always dreamt of going to the same university in college–rent a dorm together, eat every day together, do everything together. But as the graduation day slowly approaches, he became cold to me. His replies turned into one-word messages. Our mandatory Friday movie marathon vanished. He doesn’t even want to talk to me in the school corridors.
What angered me most is that I found out through his mom that he went to a different university. Just like that, he let go of our plans. I tried to understand him and gave him time to talk and confess to me what he had done. Since finals were dreadful, the thought of him fading away became a non-priority.
Then came the Graduation Day. I was waiting for him to talk to me about his sudden change of plans. I was hurt, I can never deny it. But being the best friend I was, I wanted to understand him. Questions cluttered my mind that day, but I was left unanswered. He just gave me a pat on the shoulder and a ‘Congratulations’. What the hell? Jerk!
First day in a University
No matter how badly I needed answers, I just shrugged it all off and started anew in this new chapter of my life. College. I was too excited that I arrived at my college dorm 3 days prior to the University’s official first-day operations. I wanted to familiarize the environment and adjust as soon as possible. As I walk on the school grounds, thoughts of him suddenly popped up. My college life would definitely be happier when he’s here.
Oh! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any romantic feelings toward Bryce nor plans of developing my longingness into instant love. We don’t swing that way.
Weeks, months and a semester passed by, I almost forgot about him. Honestly, I became too focused on my exams and extracurricular activities. But he updates his social accounts so I knew what he was up to. He looked happy, more buff than I last saw him. College did him well.
Summer break
The most anticipated time of the school year. Finally, I got to go home after almost a year of hardships. The thought of my bed and fluffy pillows makes me want to go home as fast as I could.
It has been days since I arrived and I still can’t notice Bryce’s presence next door. Our bedroom windows are fronting each other, I never saw his lights turned on at night. Until one evening, I was about to sleep–done with my night mask and lip regimen, I notice his bedroom lights open. I scooted over and see if he was there.
He is. Looking at my window, shocked when a green face-masked creature popped out of nowhere. He texted me, asking if we can talk outside. I said, sure. I immediately unmasked myself and put on my favorite hoody. You know, to look cool even if I’m shaking like crazy. Why? It has been months since we last talked, and as far as I could remember, it’s not even considered as conversation.
Moments after
We were just staring at nothing, sitting on the hammock clung to the tall trees of their backyard.
“If you’re not planning to speak, I’ll go ahead. I have plans early tomorrow,” I said. I was pissed.
Then he hugged me. I was caught off guard, like really. Why? Was he heartbroken?
“I’ve missed you, and I feel so stupid for doing all of this to you,” he vaguely retorted.
I asked what is up and why is he acting so weirdly. “I tried to shrug this stupid feeling off of my system. I thought going to a different school will make me forget this weirdness I’m feeling towards you,” he exclaimed.
“I never wanted us to grow apart, I always see you as my best friend. But as the years went by, you were able to make me feel a different sensation every time we are together. This is not normal, I thought. The reason why I left you without any explanations. I wanted to let go of this feeling,” he paused for awhile. “But the more I tried to conceal it, the more it intensified. I was not happy the past two semesters. I’m always thinking about you. The longingness is killing me. And earlier, when I saw you through the windows, I realized. I wanted more. I want you, not as my best friend, but as something more,” he started to cry.
I did not know what to say. We started to cry and hugged each other even tighter. That’s when I realized, I, too have developed my feelings for him.
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