J M
- Experts say that it’s ideal to teach children that it’s okay to fail.
- Failure teaches people about stuff that can only be learned once it’s experienced.
It has a normal thing for parents to push their children to do their best in everything. But one thing that needs to be learned is that they also need to understand that it’s all right to go through failures.
While children may feel disappointed when it comes to failing, it provides benefits that cannot be obtained in any other way. As they say, “Failure is a gift disguised as a bad experience. Failure is not the absence of success, but the experience of failure on the way to success.”
Failing may give strong negative feelings and steering children away from it may increase their vulnerability rather than molding them to be resilient. When children experience less failure early on in their lives, they become more powerless against the failures that they are about to face someday.
Allowing children to experience these will also teach them the power make good decisions.
Study titled “Helping or Hovering? The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on College Students’ Well-Being” states that when a child protected from failure, tendency is they will be more depressed and less satisfied with life in adulthood.
“Failure is only a gift if students see it as an opportunity rather than a threat.”
Children with a growth mindset believe intelligence is replaceable and can be changed with great, contiuous efforts. Those with a fixed mindset believe they were born with a certain level of intelligence.
So, failure is a signal for growth mindset for children who know how to try harder or differently, but it is a sign they aren’t smart enough for children with fixed mindset.
It is best that praises should be directed mainly on a person’s efforts, as opposed to achievements.
On a study titled “On Feeding Those Hungry for Praise: Person Praise Backfires in Children With Low Self-Esteem” it stated that when parents gave inflated praises and person-focused praise, children’s self-esteem is decreased.
Ideal praises are such as “you worked really hard” is better. It emphasizes more on efforts, not on how smart or dumb a person is.
“Children need to be free to learn without there being a risk to their sense of worth.”
