Rhelyn Harder
- The repetitive experience of being rejected by someone they love could lead to an addiction
- History will repeat itself, as if they want to get hurt repeatedly
- “Keep yourself busy. Don’t just stay in that area,” came the doctor’s advice.
Have you always been rejected by the one you love? Here is what a psychologist advices people who experience romantic rejections.
A psychologist said that although it’s part of courtship to experience being rejected, the repetition one experiences of being rejected by someone they love could lead to an addiction – being addicted to love the one who rejected him/her.
“Naaadik na siya na patuloy-tuloy siyang nare-reject. Ang kaniyang addiction is ‘yong taong nanre-reject sa kaniya,” said by Dr. Lillian Ng Gui on her guesting in ‘Sakto’ of DZMM.
According to Dr. Gui, the chairperson of the counseling division of the Psychological Association of the Philippines, it is considered self-abuse letting oneself feel the rejection from a different person. She said that history will repeat itself, as if they want to get hurt repeatedly.
“Ninanamnam nila ‘yong pain, gusto nila ‘yon eh. Sa kanila, ‘yong rejection is something that they are used to and they cling to it, na parang ‘yan ang bumubuhay sa kanila until the next person will come along,” said Gui.
“History will repeat itself. Eto na naman sila, ayaw sa kanila, gusto na naman nila. Paulit-ulit ‘yong cycle. That’s called abuse,” she added.
According to the study, the addiction of rejection comes from the part of the brain where motivation, reward, addiction, and frustration are involved. And those who are addicted to rejection have their thinking not coinciding with reality.
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“Very clear naman sa harapan mo, ayaw sa ‘yo, pero with that kind of people who are used to romantic rejection, they have the false thinking and illusion na, ‘Oh, it’s gonna work,'” Gui said.
Dr. Gui’s advice for those who are addicted to rejection is to evaluate their selves and look at the other aspects of their life to make it better. It is normal to be hurt after being rejected, but you need to move on and continue living.
“Keep yourself busy. Don’t just stay in that area,” the doctor adviced.
She also reminded that love is important, but it is not everything that you need to beg for it.
“Love is something that is very important in our life. It keeps us moving, keeps us motivated, and keeps us happy but love is not everything,” shared Gui.
As her final advice, you don’t need to ask for love because love will be heartily given to you.
